What a difference a day makes. I have heard that statement all of my life, so it seems. There are several variations of the statement as well, such as ‘things will look better in the morning’, and ‘why don’t you sleep on it.’ Whether you believe or accept this as a truism depends upon your perspective.
I remember a quote I heard years ago, and I have a hard time retracing my steps to give credit where credit is do, nonetheless, the quote as I remember it: “the problem with life it is so everlastingly daily”. We experience life in years, but we live it daily. One of the many benefits of keeping a journal, is after the fact, you can look back knowing how all the things work out, and yet experiencing the struggles that daily led up to the resolution of the thing. A spiritual component that has been reinforced by the habit of journaling is that with God it will work out! Perhaps not work out as I have dreamed or desired, but work out. Journaling gives me a front row seat a second time to my life. Some of the tragedies of my life happened when I was too young to write or before I had taken on the discipline. Like you I have events in my life that have led to disappointment, disappointment with others as well as myself.
Disappointment may be to weak a word to describe the emotions and pain associated with certain events of life. In the garden of my journal, I have seen the sweetness of the Lord and others displayed in simple acts. Journaling has also reminded me I am not alone. God is an ever-present help in time of trouble.
It is in the daily actions that the mortar of life is mixed. My daily habits become the foundation of all that happens in life. As one gets older the realization sets in that life is not filled with one happy or exciting event chased by the next. My life’s course is established in the midst of the mundane and common.
I have been once again reminded through journaling that you do not prepare for crisis after the crisis, but rather all of your life is preparing you to face whatever comes that day. I was reflecting on something the other day that was for most of my life a bitter situation. Something that for a time in my life I wore around my heart as an anvil, I gave it to the Lord many times, and in the private places of my life shed tears over. While shaving yesterday, I reflected on the issue, and noticed I had no pain regarding it, and felt no imprisoning fear or anger. God has changed my heart. It did come when I surrendered the hurt and the pain and the disappointment. It was in the daily living of life for God that I got on with the process of healing. Now at this point the painful event is but a distant memory. It has left it scars, but it does not own me today.
I know if I live a few more years, there will be a mixture of joy and sorrow, disappointment, duty, drudgery and delight. I can’t wait to see how God works it all out. I think I need to get my pen and journal out and make of note of these things.